The cutlery drawer

All the different spoons in my cutlery drawer

I commence my morning ritual... I snap on the ol’ rubber gloves with about as much enthusiasm as an airport security worker - I may not be the one getting the cavity search, but this task is still a pain in the ass. Washing Dishes. I live in a horrible land where dishwashers are a luxury only to be experienced while visiting other peoples’ homes. And so, here I am with rubber gloves on my hands and a scowl on my face as I begin to scrub the past 12 hours worth of pots, pans, bowls, plates, mugs, glasses and cutlery - my god the cutlery. I still do not know how 2 people accrue such a diverse portfolio of dishes and utensils in such a short time, but we somehow manage to do it. A seemingly innocent breakfast of fruit smoothies and eggs mutates into over a dozen items to wash! Think about it. Add it up. I do, every morning. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not doing this on my own. I have my partner in crime, the co-creator of the mess helping me in the cleaning process but the boy will not wash cutlery - I am not complaining; it is one of his quirks and I embrace and accept it without a grumble because he puts up with my many, many quirks. 

So yesterday morning as I juggled two fistfuls of cutlery from the drying rack to their drawer, I was wondering when we acquired so many knives, forks and spoons; so you can imagine my shock when I opened said drawer and it was already overflowing with cutlery! How could this have happened? Last month I ate ice cream with a fork because our only two other spoons were dirty, and now I am looking at hundreds of spoons of all shapes, sizes and designs (ok, maybe not hundreds, but it certainly felt that way). Where did they all come from? And how long will it all stay? I know these utensils could end up anywhere; a spoon left in the car from the morning you ate breakfast on the go, the fork left next to the office microwave, the knife that slides into the no-man’s land under the fridge.

I looked down at the assorted collection of cutlery that I had acquired and wondered where all the different pieces could have came from? Whose kitchen did this fork once belong to? Was someone out there looking for their missing fork? No, I think somewhere along the way we all just accepted cutlery as a nomadic kitchen tribe. They are the only kitchen items that can get away with this type of behaviour. You don’t see different dinner plates randomly appearing in your cupboard! The constant ebb and flow of the cutlery drawer is a domestic mystery - but I like to think that somewhere out there my cutlery has found a great new kitchen to call it’s temporary home - in a kitchen with a dishwasher. Come to think of it, I wish I was in a kitchen with a dishwasher...